After seeing my family video comprised of my wife, child, and I playing together, someone had the courage to send me a question about interracial dating, stating a harsh fact about how black men and white women are 4x more likely to break up, with the white woman left as a single mother with a black baby. They asked me my thoughts on why that was.
First off, I'd really like to thank this person (whom I won't name), because that really took guts to ask me a question like that. They didn't call themselves trying to insult me; they just presented a harsh fact and asked a question about it from what I could tell to be genuine curiosity and interest.
No, I would absolutely never ban you for that. Thanks for sending that question in. We're here to talk about the controversial stuff, so here goes.
You probably know that I'm also an award-winning corporate marketing strategist; I've won two awards in global Internet marketing strategies and online campaign development. Marketing research is about answering difficult questions based on consumer psychology, extracting those answers with the use of scientific methods for gathering empirical evidence in the form of statistical data. This means that, in order to do my job, I have to be both a data scientist/statistician, psychologist, and sociologist all in one go...as needed, in order to deliver results to clients.
Because I started off completely self-taught and built my company before I went to college to get a degree in it, I needed to build my portfolio to make up for the fact that, at the time, I hadn't a degree for social proof to show clients that I knew what I was doing. It's hard to make it as a self-taught anything in the corporate world, especially when you're competing on the Internet at the international level, but I did it.
Part of what I chose to build for my portfolio were sociological studies of human behavior between racial dynamics in America. This involved me digitally infiltrating both extreme left and extreme right groups with the use of both my real accounts and fake accounts, in order to gain qualitative data from different reactions that I'd witness as an observer. With this, I'll give you the short version of a section of my research, not the whole thing, else this post will end up being 70+ pages long.
Granted, understand my own bias in my own research; what I've done has not been peer-reviewed by other scientists, so take it for what it is. I'm not presenting this as absolute truth, especially not because in this post, I'll also be mixing in my own anecdotal experience.
...however, I can assure you it's pretty accurate for most cases.
I cannot stress enough that this is the short version; there's more to it than this.
Why Would A Black Man Date A White Woman?
Out of a study of over 18,000 black males spread across different social media groups over the process of five years of research, I was able to discern the following most common reasons for why they'd date a white woman.
Much of it had to do with the cultural inferiority complex of many African-American males in America who wanted a white woman simply on the basis of fetish and to assuage feelings of inferiority, rather than actual respect for her and her respective culture(s). It’s not her that they cared about but either:
- Taking her as a method of vengeance against the concept of white people grouped together in one category in the black man’s mind
- Taking her as a method of gaining perceived social equality in the concept of white people grouped together in one category in the black man’s mind
These Reasons Stem From African-American Slavery
I theorize that the biggest contributing factor as to why this is is due to cultural evolutionary psychology stemming from African-American slavery.
Often, in many black houses, you will see the rejection of European concepts for the sake of retaining one's perceived racial identity. I spoke about this in my other post about my thoughts on "staying black".
Since slavery, there has been a deeply rooted rivalry between light-skinned and dark-skinned blacks. This is because the light-skins likely got their color from the white master somehow, such as the rape of a mother (among other possibilities, such as legitimate love), making him what is culturally considered to be a "house negro".
The term "house negro" comes from the fact that the light-skins were often treated more like family than the dark-skins and often allowed to even sleep in the house. Meanwhile, the dark-skins most often had to stay outside, toiling in the heat and suffering more than the light-skins.
This created cultural envy and infighting that has lasted throughout generations, even to this day.
Why Are White Featured Desired Among Blacks?
To be mixed with white, or to have white features (such as wavy hair, or multicolored eyes), is seen as a blessing, because it meant that you were likely going to have a better opportunity than the other dark-skins, and thus live a better life.
This is the reason why it's become fashionable for a black man in the mainstream culture to have wavy hair. You may often see them with their wave caps and doo-rags, constantly brushing their hair, trying to get waves, when that's not their actual natural hair type.
Yet, at the same time, you will see many light-skins who just have naturally wavy hair, light skin, and multicolored eyes often be thought of as weak, or be generally disrespected in the culture. The rivalry is based upon a mixture of envy and resentment, because they are considered to be closer to the white man, who is the enemy and oppressor, as well as other feelings of resentment for the perceived unfairness of life.
What Does Dating A White Woman Mean For a Black Man?
Thus, white women are often culturally considered to be the keys to status and revenge. It's common knowledge that genes of the African haplogroup are, for the most part, dominant, while genes of the European haplogroup are, for the most part, recessive.
Then considering the 1-drop rule of Jim Crow laws (even though they no longer exist), what is thought will happen by the black male is often that he will have deliberately destroyed a white bloodline in revenge, and produce a child that is predominantly black, but with the more desired features of the culture.
Or, the black male will, after having attained a white woman's trust and love, think himself finally equal to whites on that basis alone...which is false.
The concept of marrying/mating with a European or European-descended woman with the intent to preserve her culture and treat her as a true member of his own tribe did not occur in the minds of most of the black males I studied.
Of course, not all black American men are like this; I'm living proof of that. Sadly, though, many are.
Why Do Many Interracial Marriages End In Divorce?
So the most common reason why black males with white women are 4x times more likely than other relationships in America to break up/end in divorce, in the majority of cases, has to do with the cultural evolutionary psychology of the black male, and whether or not he's truly considered preserving the culture of the white woman and treating her as a true member of his own familial unit, rather than as a breeding and status object meant to be used as a conduit for assuaging feelings of inferiority, and wreaking vengeance on his perceived oppressor.
Obviously, that cultural problem does not exist in my relationship; I embrace my white heritage, my white blood, and I do. not. care. if I'm called names for it. I didn't choose to be born, and I refuse to abide by the mentality of the 1-drop rule.
And even if I wasn't mixed, I'd still understand that if it was an interracial relationship I wanted, then I better be willing to consider marrying into her culture as well, if I really wanted to be a good family man.
What Should A White Woman Consider Before Marrying A Black Man?
If you're a white woman considering to marry a black man, make sure that before you commit, find out the truth about how he feels about preserving your culture, and whether or not he's truly, genuinely, and healthfully processed the negative emotions he needs to in order to accept the full transition of integration.
Do not hate your own culture; do not hate your own skin color simply because you are white. And the same is true for other blacks who have the opposite mentality. Like I said, this is the short version, featuring only the most common reason. Another reason, though less common, is wanting to destroy one's own bloodline because they're tired of being black.
None of those are okay.
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