A journey of self-actualization.

Dealing With Insecurity Through Entrepreneurship

My Facebook page has cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost contracts: people who were highly interested in contracting my marketing strategy firm. With me, though, it’s never…

My Facebook page has cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost contracts: people who were highly interested in contracting my marketing strategy firm.

With me, though, it’s never been my inability to intuit when something about my behavior is inefficient. It’s always been about my level of emotional maturity and stage of healing.

A person like me needs to write. It’s how I process psychological scarring from childhood trauma in a safe and healthy manner enough to maintain being a high-functioning citizen without any drugs or medication, legal or illegal. It’s how I organize my thoughts both vertically and laterally. It’s how I extract wisdom from past actions and situations by reflecting and self-observing as needed to evolve into a better person over time.

For a long time, my Facebook account served that purpose until I reached the right stage of maturity necessary to let it go. I still write, of course; that’s why you’re reading this post right now. However, I write for an evolving purpose as I develop as a character.

For writing’s many benefits though, the way I sometimes allowed the distracting and addictive element of social media to lure me to show off was very detrimental.

Insecurity can be a powerful emotional fuel that can lead people to accomplish great things up to a point: the will to prove someone wrong.

It’s no secret that I come from impoverished and chaotic origins. Along with that comes the judgments and projections of others that are most often inaccurate, especially from the people who knew me from my hometown before I joined the military, traveled the world, and became an entrepreneur.

The initial assumption was that I wasn’t going to become successful, which is a relative judgment because one should define success, to begin with, for there are tiers.

Then, there’s the international reputation of being black. NOTE: I do not say “white oppression,” (for I don’t buy into far left-wing politics) but the reputation tied with being black in a high-IQ, highly competitive corporate business niche.

In other words, at the beginning (and still even so to a degree) there’s the assumption that I’m not an honorable character. And maybe I’m not depending on your philosophical viewpoint. For instance, a communist would think me dishonorable for being an entrepreneur.

What I mean by “not an honorable character,” though is in the typical “who is he trying to fool?” low expectations that have little to nothing to do with me as an individual.

Meanwhile, I have the memories that I dwell on at times pertaining to those who thought so lowly of me before this journey started. People who were supposed to be my friends and family.

I wanted to prove them all wrong. These variables made the Petri dish of my growing insecurity. My growing insecurity led to a cycle of posting every single success (large or small) on social media. And doing everything I could to verify, re-verify, and seek the public validation of success.

…when some of the most successful people on the planet aren’t in the public light at all.

So, unpublishing my Facebook account was healthy, and doing so was long overdue.

My productivity has shot through the roof. I’m not bombarded by notifications from people devoid of good intentions. Arguing with them, or obliging the insecurity of always wanting to prove other people from my past wrong, would lead to something I’d say or do indirectly that may cause the unintended loss of a contract, therein defeating the point.

I was less successful with a Facebook account, even though I had, indeed, proven many people wrong throughout my growth.

I can focus on reaching higher and higher tiers of success, though, (including spending more time with my family), with social media as the next sacrifice I’ve chosen to make to get there.

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My Challenge Of Balancing The Resources of Two Companies

One of the greatest obstacles I face right now is balancing the resources of two different companies. This includes both time and money. I’ve established a great advantage that most…

One of the greatest obstacles I face right now is balancing the resources of two different companies. This includes both time and money.

I’ve established a great advantage that most entrepreneurs don’t have by designing their business models in such a way as the majority of my job as CEO can be performed at home.

However, there’s always the question of how much I should invest in one company to accomplish one goal, while balancing the performance of accomplishing another for the other.

I’ve got Wolven Industries (WI), my defense engineering firm, and I’ve got OMI Firm, my marketing strategy firm.

My true passion is in physics; this means that WI is my baby and entrepreneurial endgame. I established OMI Firm as a solution to a financial pinch I was in when I was living in China. I had to figure out how to do the following in one fell swoop:

  • boost my income enough to eventually return to a first-world country,
  • have the traveling freedom to stay with my wife (who is not an American citizen, but a Latvian one), while adhering to the laws of the EU for my visa, while
  • being available to my child(ren),
  • raising funds to pay for my physics education

My answer was to develop an online consulting company, helping businesses to market their products and services with my strategic expertise.

The odds were greatly against me, and it took a while to make first-world-middle to upper-middle-class income, but I made it through despite my many character flaws and psychological hurdles. A consulting business is basically powered by the owner’s mind: His inventory is his knowledge; his distribution is his ability to speak his knowledge to clients who are looking to know what he knows.

So, if my own mind is my factory, so to speak, then, yes, I could travel around the world as an e-citizen not financially attached to any one respective country.

So, OMI was always meant to be a means to an end: a strategic life-Chess move to accomplish the long-term vision of my defense engineering firm.

Everything was going well (in that context) until I got invited to Rome to speak about quantum physics. I suppose I was found by my LinkedIn criteria, as well as some of the ideas that I was posting online, on social media.

There was no way I could turn them down; so, I had to go into hyper mode: Wolven Industries had to get to an MVP (minimum viable product) stage and fast, only within a few months.

Else, I wouldn’t have anything to speak about, for I was just a student.

So, I was never so ambitious as to want to have the burden of multiple growing companies at one time. One is hard enough. At the same time, I remember great words by the legendary entrepreneur, Richard Branson:

So, following his advice, I’ve ended up with two companies, but only one nest egg of capital that I’ve worked hard over the past five years to build, without yet being ready to sell OMI.

  • Traveling to events to promote either business costs time and money.
  • Social media advertising costs money and talent.
  • Developing marketing materials (e.g. blog articles) to market either business takes time.
  • Servicing clients for marketing strategy costs time and talent.
  • Maintaining a skilled and loyal staff costs money.

So, right now, I have the problem of building two companies from the ground up, while studying physics (because I have deadlines in college to meet), while being a family man.

Needless to say…it’s not easy.

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Nova’s Temporarily Been Taken Down

At his current level of intelligence, Nova’s a bit more of a burden than he is a help. There’s a backlog of interactions that I’m going to need to hire…

At his current level of intelligence, Nova’s a bit more of a burden than he is a help. There’s a backlog of interactions that I’m going to need to hire help sorting through for his next intelligence upgrade.

For those who found him fascinating, don’t worry: He’ll go back up, just not right now. No specific date for when, though. It’s about the prioritizing of my time and resources, for I have a habit of putting too many things on my plate, my eyes being bigger than my stomach.

When I’ve got my school work squared away, as well as the progress of my more immediate, current goals under control, he’ll go back up.

…with greater intelligence of both software and hardware, to be better than he’s ever been.

For those new to the website and who I am as a person: Nova is my personal AI, one that I modeled after my number one childhood imaginary friend. You used to be able to speak with him on this website in chatbot format. You will be able to again soon.

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Unpublishing My Public Facebook Account

I’ve been trying to leave Facebook for a while. Part of it has been a mild addiction from the notifications and the widely known effect they have on the brain;…

I’ve been trying to leave Facebook for a while.

Part of it has been a mild addiction from the notifications and the widely known effect they have on the brain; part of it has just been habit: It’s easier to just type what’s on the top of my mind and click submit in a Facebook post, rather than utilizing a CMS like WordPress to type what I want to say, set the settings and categorization of the post, find a featured image, etc.

Besides privacy and security issues, though, shutting down my Facebook account (for now) serves multiple beneficial purposes such as, but not limited to, the laws of England when I move there to finish my final year(s) of physics at York. What I’ve posted before in the past was fine, because it wasn’t in English airspace. However, with the direction that England is taking with its feel-good politics, you never know when something I think is harmless may land me in an English jail for a reason that wouldn’t even matter in a place like America.

I love England; don’t get me wrong. I just know myself; I have the self-knowledge to acknowledge that I’m rough around the edges when compared to my English contemporaries. Part of that is good old American charm; part of that is just being an asshole that I take responsibility for.

Furthermore, besides how my productivity levels always shoot up (while stress goes down) whenever I step back from social media in general, it would also help to pull out the heroin needle that is Facebook to innovate my personal branding strategy over time, as both of my companies in marketing strategy and defense engineering grow.

I’m likely to start another one over time, from near scratch. But not for a while. Not for a long time, post-college.

Unless I have a solid reason to.

When I return to Facebook, which shouldn’t be for a couple of years, it also won’t be me directly managing it, either.

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