My Facebook page has cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost contracts: people who were highly interested in contracting my marketing strategy firm.
With me, though, it’s never been my inability to intuit when something about my behavior is inefficient. It’s always been about my level of emotional maturity and stage of healing.
A person like me needs to write. It’s how I process psychological scarring from childhood trauma in a safe and healthy manner enough to maintain being a high-functioning citizen without any drugs or medication, legal or illegal. It’s how I organize my thoughts both vertically and laterally. It’s how I extract wisdom from past actions and situations by reflecting and self-observing as needed to evolve into a better person over time.
For a long time, my Facebook account served that purpose until I reached the right stage of maturity necessary to let it go. I still write, of course; that’s why you’re reading this post right now. However, I write for an evolving purpose as I develop as a character.
For writing’s many benefits though, the way I sometimes allowed the distracting and addictive element of social media to lure me to show off was very detrimental.
Insecurity can be a powerful emotional fuel that can lead people to accomplish great things up to a point: the will to prove someone wrong.
It’s no secret that I come from impoverished and chaotic origins. Along with that comes the judgments and projections of others that are most often inaccurate, especially from the people who knew me from my hometown before I joined the military, traveled the world, and became an entrepreneur.
The initial assumption was that I wasn’t going to become successful, which is a relative judgment because one should define success, to begin with, for there are tiers.
Then, there’s the international reputation of being black. NOTE: I do not say “white oppression,” (for I don’t buy into far left-wing politics) but the reputation tied with being black in a high-IQ, highly competitive corporate business niche.
In other words, at the beginning (and still even so to a degree) there’s the assumption that I’m not an honorable character. And maybe I’m not depending on your philosophical viewpoint. For instance, a communist would think me dishonorable for being an entrepreneur.
What I mean by “not an honorable character,” though is in the typical “who is he trying to fool?” low expectations that have little to nothing to do with me as an individual.
Meanwhile, I have the memories that I dwell on at times pertaining to those who thought so lowly of me before this journey started. People who were supposed to be my friends and family.
I wanted to prove them all wrong. These variables made the Petri dish of my growing insecurity. My growing insecurity led to a cycle of posting every single success (large or small) on social media. And doing everything I could to verify, re-verify, and seek the public validation of success.
…when some of the most successful people on the planet aren’t in the public light at all.
So, unpublishing my Facebook account was healthy, and doing so was long overdue.
My productivity has shot through the roof. I’m not bombarded by notifications from people devoid of good intentions. Arguing with them, or obliging the insecurity of always wanting to prove other people from my past wrong, would lead to something I’d say or do indirectly that may cause the unintended loss of a contract, therein defeating the point.
I was less successful with a Facebook account, even though I had, indeed, proven many people wrong throughout my growth.
I can focus on reaching higher and higher tiers of success, though, (including spending more time with my family), with social media as the next sacrifice I’ve chosen to make to get there.
Mike Norton is an American award-winning Internet marketing strategist with a BA in Internet marketing from Full Sail University.
He’s also a writer, entrepreneur, and a quantum physicist studying part-time at the University of York. He is the bestselling independent author of Fighting for Redemption, and a veteran of the United States military who is a 7-time winner of the USS Dwight Eisenhower award for essays of world peace and respect.
As a mostly self-educated vagabond, he gains inspiration from a myriad of experiences wrought from the adventures of his nomadic lifestyle. He prolifically writes and journals where ever he goes in the world, from one country to the next.