A testimonial video filmed when I was a certified and award-winning English teacher in Xi’an, China, circa 2015. As you can tell from their testimonies, I went above and beyond merely teaching English. I actually became a life mentor to many Chinese children — even though that wasn’t my initial job, nor how I originally envisioned myself. It was just necessary for some children, and I couldn’t bring myself to turn them away. For one of them, I was a direct influence that helped them get accepted into Stanford.
|THE ORIGIN OF MY MENTORING PROGRAM
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
I hadn’t planned to become a mentor.
Especially not to other children besides my own.
One of my readers—a mother—reached out with courage and sincerity. She asked if I would speak to her son.
Partially as a coach. Partially as a teacher.
There was no clear definition for exactly what she wanted me to do other than to be there for him. To be a voice that guides him the way a father, uncle, or big brother would be.
The kind of man who could relate to him and show him what it means to grow up strong and disciplined in a world that doesn’t make it easy for boys to become men.
We didn’t have to meet in person; it could be online—through direct messaging, e-mail, or even perhaps talking about life while playing Chess or some other game remotely with each other.
I couldn’t say no.
Our first conversation inspired me to start this program. It brought me back to my own youth—the years when mentors kept me off the streets, gave me direction, and carried me through the process of breaking generational dysfunction.
Without them, I wouldn’t be here. And I realized in that moment: I had already been that kind of figure for countless kids overseas. (See the video on this page that shows the testimonials of Chinese kids I’ve been that kind of guy for—at various parents’ requests.)
But what about the kids of my own civilization?
The more I sat with the idea, the more it felt like a path I was built for, even if I simultaneously felt unworthy. Even if being that kind of mentor wasn’t initially a part of my residual self-image.
I always viewed myself as too flawed to step-up as that kind of guy, but there is simultaneously a paradox that forms with that thought-process: If I have struggled with issues of identity, romance, duty, honor, and masculinity throughout the process of my coming of age and self-actualization—yet turned out a highly functional citizen despite harrowing origins that make me question my own qualifiability—that ironically makes me qualified.
At least, more qualified than many.
It is not the people who are overly certain they are qualified to lead others or tell others how to live while never questioning themselves; it is precisely the people who are self-reflective enough to consider the gravitas of their actions, shortcomings, and the burden of leading by example with wisdom and honesty (those who may even decline at first) who are the best choices.
The question is merely whether I have the courage to own it at this point in my life.
Yes, there are pastors and priests who can mentor children. There will be school PE coaches and Chess club teachers.
All of which could be superior choices in their own ways.
Yet, there is something unique that I can provide with my mentoring that most of them cannot: How many of them, the average teacher or church leader, have survived in the Chinese wilderness for four years…and served in the US military…and built multiple businesses over the process of ten years while maintaining a loving, functional marriage after breaking a generational cycle of dysfunction?
How many of them can uniquely relate to children enduring interracial identity crises that make them vulnerable to being manipulated against Western civilization (especially if their own mothers are European, for instance)?
How many of them can honestly look you in the eye and tell you that they did X and live like Y with Z hard-earned skills and experience, not theory?
I am definitely not a perfect man but, at this point in my life, I would dare claim that it is fair to say that, despite my flaws…I have grown into a damned good one.
And a good one with my unique experiences and drive may be all that’s needed in key situations that can make a 1,000% positive difference in a child’s life.
I realize I can provide a specific kind of mentoring that can neither be rubber-stamped nor mass-produced by the public educational systems.
Meanwhile, many of my readers are single mothers. The mother of the first young man I began mentoring who inspired this very program in mind was one.
So, I am aware that some will laugh at my efforts.
For instance, The Red Pill community certainly will, as that community insists men should avoid single mothers and their children like the plague.
These women have children who often grow up without a father, or worse—with a toxic one.
Communities like The Red Pill community often paint all single mothers as irresponsible cretins. But that is not the reality often enough.
|IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD
“What nobler employment, or more valuable to the state, than that of the man who instructs the rising generation?”
For instance…
— Maybe they were sexually assaulted but were so moral as to keep the child rather than murdering the child via abortion or abandoning them to the foster care system.
— Maybe their husband or long-term partner died.
— Maybe their husband or long-term partner simply and genuinely fell short, abandoned them, or is a toxic influence.
— Maybe there is nothing wrong with the father and there is no need to figuratively replace him; perhaps, he is a fellow veteran but active duty and away on deployment and thus could appreciate a fellow brother in arms looking out for him and his.
— Maybe there is nothing wrong with the father in another scenario in which there is no need to figuratively replace him: What if the father just simply appreciates the prospect of having a bro there with supplementary knowledge useful for filling skill gaps pertaining to entrepreneurship or fitness?
There are many possible scenarios.
And even if, hypothetically, a woman actually was irresponsible—that’s not the child’s fault.
It may sound narcissistic in one way at first, but it is true: Men like me are in short supply.
I just have to have the courage to own my frame as one of them while deciding what to do with the self-awareness of that if I really care about my civilization.
This idea ties directly into the mission already underway. A portion of my Substack proceeds is going toward building a shelter for women. And many of those women will bring children with them—children who need strong men in their lives.
Children like I once was.
It’s become conventional wisdom for men like me to avoid broken homes like the plague, but history, especially the histories of strong nations, tells another story.
In ancient times, when fathers died in war, the surviving men of the village stepped up to raise the fatherless.
It wasn’t an act of weakness; it was a noble gesture necessary for collective survival.
Because if you don’t raise the children of your village, your enemies certainly will.
So, my take on being that father/big-brother/uncle figure for children from broken homes is not about charity. It’s not about ego.
It’s about the greater good, and I viewed the initial request from the mother in my audience as a test of my integrity. This was my thought-process, my inner debate I had with myself:
You claim to love your people, your civilization—but do you really?
Is that just a virtue signal, a grift for raising money…or do you really believe what you say?
Would you put your money where your mouth is when someone is brave enough to let you know where and how you are genuinely needed to step up where other men have failed?
Do you write all that you do to build a strong family of your own as a matter of bragging, or can you also share some aspect of that fatherhood in a moral way with others that need it?
Do you really love them? Your people, I mean. Your civilization.
I mean, do you really love them? That’s not bull****? You really mean that?
That’s what really drives you?
Then, you cannot claim to love your civilization while seeking to build, serve, and protect it without also loving its women (and I do not mean “loving its women” in a piggish, sexual way as I define “love” as “the willingness to suffer.”)
Meanwhile, you cannot claim to love the women of your village without simultaneously loving the children they bring into the world—for they are the civilization itself.
So, I chose to step up.
I have no grand plan. I’m figuring things out as I go along.
But this mentoring program is a sincere step toward that duty. It is not fully formed, and I am building it transparently—step by step, track by track. But the vision is clear: a sustainable, scalable way to give fatherless children what was once given to me.
My own way of passing forward what was given to me.
Click the button to contact me if you know someone or if your own child could benefit.
Tell me about them. Their situation. And we can give it a try.
In return, all I ask is that you become a paid member of my Substack (which is only a few dollars per month) so that I may actively contribute to building the women’s shelter while still converting my efforts into food on the table for my own wife and children.